Whining is an admission of a lack of control. Whiners complain they can’t advance in their job because “the man” won’t let them. Whiners never actually admit their advancement is primarily dependent on their own performance. A Whiner complains about government—but in the same breath admits that he or she don’t vote because “it doesn’t make a difference,” and, of course, they never get personally involved to improve the situation. Whining says to the world that you do not have the talent, power, and/or will to make your life the best it can be. It is the easy way out. Instead of taking the self-responsibility to improve their lot in life and solve the problems and issues that hold them back, Whiners shift the responsibility to everyone else. Whining is a proclamation that you have been beaten by your life and the system. Your job, family, friends, and almost everyone and everything else you come into contact with have the power to control you. You are simply a slave to all that surrounds you, and the only power you possess is the power to complain. And to compound the situation is the depression that accompanies it. Whiners often have a limited social life, which can become very lonely. Certainly, nobody enjoys being around Whiners, because they tend to be so focused on their own situation that a conversation with them is completely one-sided (“so enough about me, now let’s talk about what is really bothering me and why I’m not happy”).
Most Whiners have gone through a progression of complaining throughout their lives that ultimately brought them to their Whiner status. Their friends either tend to be from the “old days,” before they became so insufferable, or other Whiners who can’t find any other decent companionship. Whiners are under the mistaken belief that their complaints will bring them positive pity and attention from others. In reality, it just serves to isolate them, and at some point, the pity from others transforms to disgust when they realize the Whiner suffers from constant self-pity as opposed to some real malady or unfortunate situation. Whining has the “crying wolf” effect. Those around a Whiner become immune to his or her complaints, so if the Whiner truly is encountering a bad situation, his or her friends and coworkers tend to minimize the situation. Whiners tap out the normally available emotional support systems that surround them, so they aren’t available when they really need them. And if they aren’t talking about themselves, Whiners tend to be complaining about other people’s successes, focusing on how unfair it is that they don’t enjoy the same satisfactions in life. Typically, Whiners focus on an excuse: the “I-coulda’-been-a-contender” syndrome. They will explain ad nauseam about how they are qualified for something, but they just “didn’t get the breaks like a lot of other people,” so they are relegated to doing something they don’t like. Just being around a Whiner is depressing and draining.