New York Governor Elliott Spitzer’s big night (perhaps I am behind the economic times a bit – but does a hooker really cost $4500?), and his subsequent resignation overshadowed a far more disturbing news story today. Sure, I understand that the salacious and somewhat tragic fall of a politician makes for good headlines, but while we were all embroiled in the Guv’s sex life, an American icon was quietly sent off to jail.
Yes, Dawn Wells, or Mary Ann as we all know and love her (by far one of the two most attractive women on Gilligan’s Island), was convicted of DUI in Driggs, Idaho, and narrowly dodged a more serious drug possession charge. The adorable 69 year-old cast-away was arrested while driving home from a surprise party. When the officer noticed her driving erratically and pulled her over, reefer smoke apparently poured out of her auto (perhaps she was celebrating with Cheech and Chong?). Mary Ann gave the very plausible explanation that she had just given a ride to a couple pot smoking hitchhikers and they had dropped joints in her car. (It’s hard to come up with good lies when you’re toasted.) The officer searched the car and found a couple more joints and some pretty good bud hidden in a film canister.
To avoid being shipped off to Guantanamo Bay (she now has a fear of islands), Dawn entered into a plea agreement admitting to reckless driving, and she is serving five days in jail, paying a fine, and has been put on probation (which means no more three hour cruises).
You can’t make this stuff up! Well, you can embellish, but all the above facts are true!
If memory serves me, Gilligan was also a bit of a stoner, and also had run-ins with the law. Makes you wonder what was really happening on that island. Perhaps the Professor developed a killer strain of Gilligan Gold?