Featured Article

The Akins Guide

I had never heard of Todd Akin, the Missouri Congressman currently under fire for his comments on rape and abortion, until this week.  In fact, when the Akin controversy broke a few days ago, I will admit I was confused.  The Akin news was coming at a fast and furious pace, and I was not quite sure which Akin we were talking about.

“Is Sheriff Lobo or the cute guy from American Idol now opposed to abortion”, I wondered.  It didn’t sound right, so I did a little investigation.  I discovered it is somewhat of a common name with a few common derivations, so as a public service I am pleased to present this “Akin Guide” so you can properly identify the proper Akin.

Clay Aiken

Don’t confuse this former American Idol and Celebrity Apprentice contestant with a conservative, Bible-thumping politician.  This Aiken is openly gay, and instead of spending his time trying to limit other’s rights, he is a staunch supporter of Aids Charities and Unicef.

Claude Akins

Since this Akins died in 1994 he might be less well-known than some of the other Akins, but if you are a fan of television from the 1950’s through the early 1990’s he is a familiar face.  This Akins played Sheriff Lobo in both BJ And The Bear, and The Misadventures of Sheriff Lobo (they sure don’t make shows like that anymore).  He was Sonny Pruett in my very favorite show about truck drivers and CB radios, Movin’ On.  He also guest starred on almost every television series over thirty years, including The Love Boat, The Streets of San Francisco, The Rookies, Hec Ramsey, Barnaby Jones, and dozens of others.   In fact, he appeared in 180 television shows, and over 100 films!  I have absolutely no idea how he felt about rape and abortion, and in his bio it does not indicate whether or not he could sing.

Akin Ayodele

The biggest of our Akin selection, this 32 year old linebacker is currently a free agent (which probably means he is available to run for Todd’s seat) and has played with the Jacksonville Jaguars, the Dallas Cowboys, the Miami Dolphins, the Denver Broncos, and the Buffalo Bills.  I have no idea if he is interested in politics or singing, and I suspect he would be suprised to be listed here.

Todd Akin

Todd Akin

The man of the hour and currently the most famous Akin, this Akin is the 65 year old Republican US Representative for Missouri’s 2nd District, in office since 2001. who apparently believes in the weird concept of “legitimate rape”, and that women’s bodies have the unique ability to recognize good versus bad sperm in order to prevent pregnancy. (A question here….. I am not an expert on reproductive systems, nor am I an OB GYN, but if women have the ability to block unwanted sperm, why did I buy all those condoms during college?) Anyway…

This Akin has a Master of Divinity Degree from Covenant Theological Seminary.  He’s into all the normal conservative stuff…. He voted in favor of the right to carry concealed weapons (The NRA loves him and gave him an A rating.), he opposes stem cell research, and opposes all abortion, including in the case of rape and incest. (Is this the “don’t kill babies – wait until they grow up and shoot them” approach to politics?)  He was quoted as saying “liberalism really is a hatred for God and a belief that government should replace God”.

So there you have it….there seems to be an Akin for every application.  They sing, they dance, they act, they play football, and they say some really stupid things!

This entry was posted in Politics. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to The Akins Guide

  1. Joe Hughes says:

    How come he can say such stupid things and still get others to believe him?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *